Dealing With Disappointment During Coronavirus Cancellations, Postponements

Positive Coaching Alliance

March 19, 2020 | 

3 minutes, 51 seconds read

Positive Coaching Alliance's Response

Coronavirus has already made a massive impact on the world of professional sports, canceling nearly every major sporting event for the next 30 days, or at the very least, disallowing fans from attending. While it is a disappointment for all involved, it is especially devastating for all the student-athletes who were forced to end their season prematurely. The sacrifices they will make during this crisis ask them to draw on the very lessons they've learned through sports: to be resilient, have a growth mindset and become leaders in and out of sports...

Beyond some of the ways you might talk to your student-athlete during this time, there also other action steps you can take. For instance, as a coach, you might think about ways your team can stay connected and motivated to help alleviate the disappointment. As a parent, you might take the time to connect with your kids by playing sports at home. Ultimately, there are always ways to make ourselves, our teammates, and our community better, and you can see some of those action steps (beyond the talking points above) outlined here:

COACHES

• Organize google hangouts as a way for teammates to connect...

PARENTS

• Set up routines (schoolwork in the morning, "recess" in the backyard or any kind of play time or break) - help normalize the situation as much as possible...

ATHLETES

• Recognize how important it is to take excellent care of your body when things are difficult. When we face disappointment, fear, or stress, it is important that we pay particularly close attention to our nutrition, hydration, exercise, and sleep...

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Sport Families: How to Celebrate Wins, When One Kid Isn't Winning

August 01, 2019 | 

A young athlete’s teammates, siblings, coaches, and teachers can leave a lasting impression, but parents have the greatest impact on how a child feels about his or her performance in sport, says Joel Fish, PhD, sports psychologist and author of 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent.

When you have two or more children in sports, it can be a challenge to give each one the same level of positive attention — especially when one seems to be winning all the time, while the other is struggling. Fish shares advice on how to find the right balance between celebrating success and prioritizing progress rather than just winning.

PRAISE EFFORT NOT RESULTS

It’s natural to be excited about a win, and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating it, says Fish. “But focus more on your core values versus results: make sure you’re praising other successes, like developing new skills or putting in a strong effort. You have a great opportunity to teach children multiple goals — there are other ways to define success that aren’t results-driven.”

CHECK YOUR REACTION

Understanding how important your reaction is, and becoming aware of it, can go a long way towards promoting good behaviors on your part.

MAKE SURE EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY NEED

READ THE REST AT TRUESPORT 

Words of Advice from Volleyball Parents

by USA Volleyball Staff

USA Volleyball

It’s all about the team

Volleyball is one of the most team-oriented sports out there. One player can’t win the match on their own, so learning to put faith into your teammates and giving the best effort possible will ensure the most success.

Focus on the fundamentals

Volleyball takes time to learn, so breaking down the fundamentals is key. Take the time to revisit the fundamentals and build a strong foundation. Even NCAA Division 1 athletes break down the fundamentals on their own and at practice.

Shake it off!

Mistakes happen all the time in volleyball. When they happen, shake it off and focus on improving for the next time. Learn from mistakes by asking your coach how to correct them and support your teammates by cheering for them when they make mistakes.

Communication is key

Communication and enthusiasm go a long way
in volleyball. Speak loud and clear with your teammates and coaches to help your team succeed. Also, keep a high energy level and cheer on your teammates when you are on the court and on the bench.

Pick a program that suits your child

Find a program that suits your child’s playing style and commitment level, along with your commitment level as a parent. Research the volleyball programs in your area and understand what is expected before signing up. For more information, see Ways to Play on page 8.

Get to know your child’s coach

The ideal coach is accessible, honest and a good role model for your child. Understand his or her views on playing time, development and discipline, and let him or her know what your child needs to improve as a player. The key is open, honest communication.

Be your child’s biggest fan

At practices and games, allow the coaches and referees to do their jobs and focus on being your child’s biggest fan. Shouting instructions from the sidelines can confuse and frustrate young players and their coaches. Instead, encourage your child to have fun and be a good teammate.

Social development is part of the game

Volleyball teams are built on trust and communication. Your child will learn to interact with their teammates, coaches and referees and will build social skills that apply beyond the court. Sports are a great way for your child to meet new people and make friends.

Raising Our Daughters to Be Brave: Five Tips from Athlete Crista Samaras

By Samantha Walravens, Forbes09/14/18

Many parents today rob their kids of the “gift” of failure. Failing and figuring out how to recover teaches kids how to be resourceful and resilient.

Crista Samaras made headlines as a nationally ranked lacrosse player at Princeton from 1994-1999 and a gold medalist in the 2001 IFWLA World Cup as a member of the Women's National Team.

She went on to coach women’s lacrosse at Yale and start three companies. From the outside, she is a true American success story. What is less known about her is her lifelong struggle with depression.

“I wasn’t a person who ‘kind of' suffered from depression,” explains Samaras. “I was a suicidal kid from seventh grade until today. It's just the state I'm in.”

Lacrosse became a way for her to battle her demons. “I couldn’t find ‘happy' or a sense of joy,” she continues. “I just wanted to be alone, rid of the competition. For me, lacrosse wasn't about just winning. It was winning to such a huge degree that other players were no longer in the same playing field as me.”

READ THE REST AT FORBES

20 Questions to Help Athletes Find Their Best College Match

By Next College Student Athlete10/25/18

To parents, academics may be the most important aspect of determining the best college match. For high school students, it may be the first thing they push to the side.

Athletes are really not that much different than non-athletes when it comes to choosing a college.

There are plenty of options, and finding the one that will most completely meet their needs means looking at more than just sport and major. From campus life to travel time to classes, weather and culture fit, there’s a lot to consider. And, often, students don’t even know what they want in a college experience.

To help student-athletes better understand their best college match, you can start by asking them the right questions. Here are 20 questions to better gauge their academic and cultural fit that will help them to start building a list of potential schools.

P.S. — it might be tempting to try grinding through all 20 questions at once. But you’ll likely get a lot of eye rolls and, “Ugh, I don’t know!” responses. Instead, ask a couple questions at a time and keep track of the answers in a notebook. That way, you can refer back when you need to.

ACADEMIC QUESTIONS

To parents, academics may be the most important aspect of determining best college match. For high school students, it may be the first thing they push to the side. These questions help narrow down schools where your student would thrive academically.

1. What do you want to major in?

2. Would you be willing to adjust your major?

3. Do you want to be taught by full-time professors or graduate students?

4. Which type of classes do you prefer: lecture style or discussion style?

5. Will your major require an internship?

6. Do you want to take classes that interest you or would you like to stick to your major?

7. Is the prestige/reputation of the college important to you?

8. Do you fulfill the academic requirements to be accepted?

Read more: The NCAA Eligibility requirements you need to know

CULTURAL FIT

When students go to college, most of them will be living on their own for the first time. They need to feel at home in their university, surrounded by students they connect with. Campus culture refers to the type of students at the campus, the location, physical attributes of the campus and what stands out in the student body.

9. Are you more interested in a social campus, a commuter campus (where students tend to go home on the weekends) or a quiet campus?

10. How far away from home would you like to be?

11. Would you prefer to go to a school where you already know a lot of people?

12. What are your weather-related deal breakers?

13. Do need a lot of green space?

14. Do you prefer to be in a large city?

15. Would you like a religious university?

16. What kinds of extracurricular or social activities are you interested in?

17. Do you want to be surrounded by people who share your viewpoint?

18. Do you want a diverse environment?

19. Do you like seeing people you know around campus every day?

20. What specific experiences do you want to have in college (e.g., studying abroad)?
 

BONUS QUESTIONS

College is a big investment. As a parent you need to be realistic about what colleges are feasible from a financial standpoint. Ask yourself these questions to make sure you — and your student — know where things stand financially.

1. How much are you willing to pay for college and how much responsibility will fall on your student?

2. Does your student qualify for any scholarships or financial aid?

3. Will your student be supporting themselves while at college? Is the college town’s cost of living realistic?

4. Will your student need to participate in a work-study program or similar arrangement to help cover the cost of tuition?

5. Are you and/or your student willing to take out college loans? How much?

Read more: Athletic Scholarship facts

Starting with these questions can help your family start a list of potential colleges, and then from there, you can add athletic fit to further trim down your choices. Remember, you don’t have to restrict your search to four-year schools. Many junior colleges offer competitive sports programs and can be a stepping stone to a four-year college or university.

Read more: How to find your best college match

Remembering Lisa Dorneker-Moffatt

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